🥹 Why Faith Doesn't Erase Grief

We all start our spiritual journey, I think, hoping for a shield. We imagine that a deep, authentic prayer life or perfect devotion will be a kind of divine insurance policy; a guarantee that the big, painful things will simply pass us by. We crave a faith that removes the suffering.

After all, if God is good, why would He let us hurt?

The simple truth, however, is that spirituality doesn’t erase grief, struggles, or hardships—it transforms how we navigate them. The life of faith doesn't take us around the Cross; it teaches us how to carry our own little crosses with meaning.

The Reality of the Christian Walk

Look at the greatest saints. Were their lives easy? Absolutely not. St. Teresa of Calcutta dealt with profound spiritual dryness. St. Padre Pio bore the stigmata. Jesus Himself, the very model of perfect spiritual communion with the Father, faced betrayal, agony, and death on the Cross.

If the most spiritually advanced people in history still faced immense pain, we can’t expect to bypass it. Suffering is simply an unavoidable condition of life in this fallen world.

The difference for us, as Catholics, isn't that our pain disappears, but that our perspective changes. We move from asking, “Why is this happening to me?” to asking, “How can God use this pain?”

The Redemptive Power of Suffering

The Bible doesn’t promise ease; it promises purpose in the struggle. The Apostle Paul lays out this incredible spiritual math:

“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.” --Romans 5:3-5

This verse is the key. Suffering isn’t a dead end; it’s a necessary step in a process of spiritual formation. It’s the kiln that fires the clay of our character.

Our spirituality transforms our navigation of hardship in two profound ways:

It Unites Us: We are invited to unite our small pains—the loss, the anxiety, the physical aches—to the boundless, redemptive suffering of Christ on the Cross. This is the incredible, almost incomprehensible Catholic concept of redemptive suffering. Our pain, which would otherwise be meaningless, becomes a way to participate in Christ's work for the salvation of souls, including our own.

It Grounds Us: When the world feels unstable, our faith is the anchor. Grief still hurts, but the pain doesn't have the final word because we know, with absolute certainty, the Resurrection.

How to Navigate, Not Escape

So, what does this look like practically when you’re facing a real, painful struggle?

Lean into Prayer of Presence: Don’t feel pressured to have perfect, eloquent prayers. Sometimes the most spiritual act is simply sitting quietly with God and saying, "This hurts, Lord. I'm here. Help me."

Embrace the Sacraments: Go to Confession. Receive the Eucharist. These sacraments are the divine fuel that gives us the actual grace needed for endurance. You don't get through the hard times on sheer willpower; you get through them on grace.

Find Meaning: When you feel overwhelmed, intentionally offer that moment of suffering up for someone else—a loved one who is struggling, the Holy Souls in Purgatory, or a specific intention. This simple act of spiritual redirection transforms a moment of self-pity into a moment of sacrificial love.

Our faith isn't about avoiding the shadows; it’s about having a Light that shines in them. The goal is not a life without pain, but a soul that is stronger, more compassionate, and utterly fixed on Christ because of the pain it endured. And that, truly, is the deepest kind of spiritual victory.

💍 From Divided to Whole: Learning to Reorder Our Loves

 “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.” -- Matthew 6:33

We’ve reflected on how God’s people once divided their hearts  through many wives, many desires, and many distractions.

We’ve seen how we, too, can love God and love other things that quietly compete for His place.

So how do we begin to reorder our loves?
How do we move from scattered affection to steady devotion — from many loves to one wholehearted love for God?

🌿 1. Begin With Awareness and Ask: What Rules Me?

Every heart has a throne. Something or someone sits on it.
For some, it’s control.
For others, comfort, reputation, or security.

To reorder love, we first have to notice what has taken God’s seat.

St. Ignatius of Loyola called this “discernment of spirits” — learning to see what draws us toward God and what quietly pulls us away.

“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are holding to your faith.” -- 2 Corinthians 13:5

A simple prayer helps:

“Lord, show me what I love too much.”

It’s not about guilt. It’s about clarity and seeing what competes with Him so we can love Him freely.

🔥 2. First Things First: Reorder by Returning

Once we recognize our misplaced loves, we bring them to God and reorder them not by removing them, but by re-ranking them.

God doesn’t always ask us to give up every good thing; He asks us to give Him first place among them.

St. Augustine said,

“To love things in the right order, so that you do not love what is not to be loved, or fail to love what is to be loved.”

It’s not wrong to love work, relationships, hobbies, or even comfort but the problem arises when they rise above the Giver.

That’s why Jesus says:

“Seek first the kingdom of God.” --Matthew 6:33

Once first things are first, everything else falls beautifully into place.

🌅 3. Choose Daily Detachment

Reordering love is not a one-time act but a daily rhythm.
Every day the world tugs at us: more, faster, better.
But detachment doesn’t mean not caring; it means holding things lightly.

“If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” -- Luke 9:23

Detachment says:
“I love this, Lord but I love You more.”
“I want this but not if it costs Your peace.”

It’s how saints stayed free.
St. Francis of Assisi let go of wealth and found joy.
St. Thérèse let go of pride and found peace.
Their surrender didn’t shrink their lives but it expanded them into love.

✝️ 4. Anchor Your Day in Love

If love can drift, it must also be anchored.
And our anchor is prayer.

Even five minutes of heart prayer  not just words, but quiet awareness of God’s presence starts to realign our loves.

St. Francis de Sales advised,

“Half an hour’s meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed.”

Prayer trains our hearts to remember Who we belong to.
It brings order to the chaos of competing loves.

🌤️ 5. Let Love Be Lived, Not Just Felt

Reordered love shows up in action; in patience with others, humility in success, generosity in scarcity.

“Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth.” -- 1 John 3:18

When we love rightly, our choices begin to reflect God’s priorities.
Our words soften. Our schedules shift.
Peace replaces the inner noise of divided desires.

And that’s when our heart, finally, becomes whole again.

🌹 Reflection

What is one love that has taken up too much space in your heart lately?
What would it look like to reorder it by returning it to its proper place under God’s will?

Remember: holiness isn’t about having fewer loves but it’s about having rightly ordered ones.

🙏 Prayer

Lord,
You alone are worthy of first place in my heart.
Yet my love often drifts toward many things.
Teach me to order my heart rightly —
to seek You first in all things,
to hold Your gifts with gratitude,
and to let nothing replace You on the throne of my heart.
Make my love whole again,
so that my life may reflect Your peace.

Amen.

💍 Modern Polygamy of the Heart

 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” -- Matthew 22:37 

In previous blog we read about how people in the Old Testament had many wives and hence divided affections, divided households, divided peace.

But if we’re honest, we do the same thing today… only differently.

We may not have multiple spouses,
but we often have multiple loves.

Comfort. Success. Screens. Security. Approval.
One heart, but pulled in a hundred directions.

And in the quiet, God still whispers the same truth He spoke long ago:

“You must love Me with all your heart.”

💔 When Our Hearts Have Many Loves

Polygamy in the ancient world was physical; ours is spiritual.

We say we love God; and we do
but we also love being liked,
being comfortable,
being in control.

And those loves compete.

Just as Solomon’s many wives “turned away his heart after other gods” (1 Kings 11:4), our many attachments pull us away from the simplicity of loving God first.

It’s rarely dramatic.
It’s subtle like the slow drift of a distracted soul.

We still pray, but half-heartedly.
We still serve, but check our phones.
We still say “Thy will be done,”
but secretly hope ours wins out.

🌿 God Doesn’t Want Half of You

God isn’t possessive but He doesn’t want a portion of your heart; He wants your whole self, because only then can He fill you fully.

St. Augustine once prayed,

“You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”

Restlessness is often the sound of a heart divided.

God doesn’t shame us for it but He invites us to reorder our loves.
He knows how easily we attach to things that fade.
He gently reminds us:

“You cannot serve God and mammon.” --Matthew 6:24

Not because He’s harsh, but because He knows divided love will always leave us empty.

🌤️ The Call Back to Simplicity

Loving God with all our heart isn’t about emotion; it’s about direction.
It’s the steady turning toward Him, again and again, even when the world tugs in every direction.

It means putting prayer before scrolling.
Putting mercy before pride.
Putting obedience before convenience.

And when we fail - because we will - He doesn’t condemn. He calls us home.

Like He did with Solomon, like He did with Peter,
He reminds us that our hearts are made for undivided love.

✨ Reflection

What are the “many loves” competing for your heart?
Which of them quietly steals time, peace, or joy that belongs to God?

Sometimes the hardest idols to let go of aren’t bad things but they’re good things we’ve loved too much.

The cure is not guilt, but grace and the slow realignment of love toward its true center - Christ

🙏 Prayer

Lord,
You deserve my undivided heart,
yet I confess that I have many loves.
Things, people, habits, and comforts
that quietly sit where You should reign.
Teach me to love You above all else —
not because You demand it,
but because only in You am I whole.
Heal my divided heart
and make it one again in Your love.

Amen.

💍 Polygamy: When God Tolerated What He Never Willed

 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” -- Genesis 2:24 

When you read through the Old Testament, it can be confusing as we see:
Abraham had Sarah and Hagar.
Jacob had Leah and Rachel.
David and Solomon had many wives.

Yet Scripture also says from the very beginning that God made one man and one woman.
So what happened?
Did God change His mind?
Or did something else happen between Eden and the time of the kings?

🌿 God’s Original Plan Was Always One and One

In Genesis, marriage is described not as a contract or a social arrangement, but as a union.

“The two shall become one flesh.”

It’s not “many becoming one,” but two.
It was God’s design that love that mirrors His own faithfulness: total, exclusive, and permanent.

When Jesus was asked about divorce, He didn’t quote Moses but went further back to creation.

“From the beginning it was not so.” -- Matthew 19:8

He was reminding them: God never changed the plan; we did.

⚖️ So Why Did God Allow It?

Out of mercy and patience.

In the ancient world, polygamy was common.
Women often had no means of survival without a household.
Wars left many widows and unmarried women.
Cultural norms tolerated multiple wives for economic and social reasons.

And yet, even in that broken context, God stayed with His people.
He didn’t abandon them for their imperfect ways; He walked with them toward something better.

Just like He does with us.

💔 Scripture Doesn’t Glorify It — It Shows the Pain

What’s striking is that the Bible never celebrates polygamy. Instead, it shows what it costs.

• Abraham’s household was torn by jealousy between Sarah and Hagar (Genesis 16).

• Jacob’s family became a web of rivalry between Leah and Rachel (Genesis 29–30).

• David’s sons fought, rebelled, and brought tragedy to his house (2 Samuel 13–15).

• Solomon’s heart “was turned away after other gods” because of his many wives (1 Kings 11:4).

These stories aren’t written to justify polygamy — they reveal its wounds.
Whenever love becomes divided, hearts do too.

✝️ Christ Restores the Original Beauty

By the time Christ came, God’s people had seen the fruit of divided love.
Through Jesus, marriage was restored to its original dignity — a covenant of faithful, sacrificial love.

“Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” --1 Corinthians 7:2

And St. Paul takes it even deeper:
Marriage becomes a symbol of the union between Christ and His Church — one Bride, one Groom, one unbreakable love.

“This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.” -- Ephesians 5:32

What polygamy distorted, Christ purified.

🌤️ God’s Mercy in Our Messiness

It’s comforting to see that God didn’t abandon the patriarchs for their failings.
He still worked through Abraham, Jacob, and David not because of their polygamy, but despite it.

That’s how He deals with us too.
When we fall short of His plan, He doesn’t throw us away.
He patiently leads us back to holiness — step by step, grace by grace.

He meets us in our weakness, but never leaves us there.

🙏 Reflection

God’s patience in the Old Testament is the same patience He shows us now.
He doesn’t lower His standard but He raises us toward it.
Where in your life has God tolerated what He never willed and gently invited you to live His plan more fully?

✨ Prayer

Lord,
You created love to be whole and faithful,
yet we often settle for less.
Thank You for being patient when our hearts are divided.
Teach us to love as You love —
with constancy, purity, and faithfulness.
Restore in us Your original design.

Amen.

👑 “Sin Lies at the Door But You Must Rule Over It”

“If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” -- Genesis 4:7 

There’s a quiet moment in Scripture that feels deeply human — God speaking to Cain after He accepts Abel’s offering but not Cain’s.

Cain’s face falls. He burns with jealousy. And instead of turning toward God, he begins to turn inward — brooding, comparing, resenting.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?
That slow simmer inside when someone else gets the recognition, the affection, the answered prayer — and we don’t.

But God steps in.
He doesn’t condemn. He warns.

“Sin is crouching at your door.”

It’s such a striking image — sin isn’t far away; it’s close, waiting for a moment of weakness, ready to slip in through a crack in the heart.

Yet God adds something powerful:

“Its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

He tells Cain that sin wants to control him — but it doesn’t have to.
That same truth holds for us.

💡 God Never Commands the Impossible

Notice what God says: “If you do well, will you not be accepted?”
It’s almost as if He’s saying, “Cain, you can still do what’s right. You’re not beyond redemption. You still have a choice.”

God doesn’t demand perfection; He invites cooperation.
He knows our nature — that concupiscence (our tendency toward sin) still stirs within us — yet He also knows we can rule over it.

He wouldn’t tell us to master sin if He didn’t also give us the grace to do so.

🔥 When Desire Tries to Rule

We might not pick up stones like Cain, but our anger, jealousy, lust, or pride can rule us just as powerfully.

Maybe you’ve felt it:

• That urge to clap back in a conversation.

• That quiet envy when someone else succeeds.

• That pull to indulge in something you know will distance you from God.

Those are moments when “sin lies at the door.”
It doesn’t mean you’ve sinned yet — but the battle has begun.

St. Paul puts it this way:

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions.” --Romans 6:12

He’s saying: you’re not helpless. The Spirit within you gives you authority to say no — not by gritting your teeth, but by surrendering to grace.

🌹 Saints Who Ruled Their Desires

St. Augustine knew what it meant to be ruled by passion. For years he chased pleasure and ambition, until he finally cried out to God:

“Late have I loved You, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new!”

His conversion wasn’t overnight. But when he let God rule his heart, the desires that once mastered him lost their grip.

St. Francis of Assisi went from a carefree, pleasure-loving young man to a humble lover of poverty. His joy came not from satisfying desire but from ordering it — from placing God first, even when it meant denying himself.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux, in her quiet convent life, ruled over the little irritations and jealousies of daily community life. Every time she chose charity over pride, she ruled over sin by letting love reign instead.

⚔️ Letting God Master You First

We only learn to rule sin when we first let God rule us.

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” -- James 4:7

We can’t do it by sheer willpower. Self-control that isn’t rooted in grace will eventually burn out.
But when we invite the Holy Spirit into the battle — when we pause, breathe, and whisper, “Jesus, take over” — something shifts.

The desire doesn’t vanish instantly, but it loses its dominion.
Grace becomes stronger than instinct.

🌤️ It’s a Daily Fight — and That’s Okay

Ruling over sin isn’t a one-time victory; it’s a daily rhythm.
Each moment of restraint, forgiveness, or humility is a small triumph of grace.

God never asked Cain for perfection — only for obedience and trust.
He says the same to us: “Do well. Choose Me. And you will be accepted.”

You may stumble, but remember: God’s warning is never rejection — it’s mercy in disguise. He’s inviting you to live free, to rule the very impulses that once ruled you.

🙏 A Short Prayer

Lord, You see the sin crouching at my door —
my pride, my anger, my impatience.
Give me the strength to master it
by first letting You master my heart.
When I am tempted, remind me that grace is stronger.
When I am weak, rule within me until I find peace in Your will.

Amen.

✔️ Prayer Checklist vs a Constant Connection

I once heard someone say they were only able to manage a Rosary. It’s as if they were confessing a spiritual shortcoming, implying that if they aren’t doing the ‘extra’ prayers, they aren't doing enough.

How often have you felt a twinge of guilt because you didn’t hit your 'prayer quota' for the day?

Maybe you missed a daily Mass, or perhaps you only managed a hurried Rosary instead of that hour of Adoration you promised yourself. I know that feeling of inadequacy well! We often treat our spiritual life like a performance review, measuring success by the amount of time spent or the number of prayers recited.

But it brings us to a better, deeper question: The goal of our faith isn't to ask, "Did you connect with God today?" but rather, "Are you connected with God?"

⏱️ The Danger of the Spiritual Time Clock

It’s easy to get focused on the quantity of prayer. Yes, the Church encourages intentional time, like family prayer, and many spiritual masters recommend setting aside a full hour. This intentional, dedicated time is vital as it strengthens the heart of the relationship.

However, if we spend 30 minutes in intense, focused prayer, only to spend the next 23 hours and 30 minutes acting uncharitably, consumed by worry, or completely forgetting God’s presence in our work, what have we really accomplished?

What is the point of prayer if it occupies just a small, isolated part of the day?

The risk is compartmentalization. We keep God neatly tucked away in the "Prayer" box, and then we go out and face our jobs, our families, and our struggles relying solely on our own strength and mood. This is exactly the kind of external, surface-level piety that Jesus warned against.

He addressed this spiritual hypocrisy with the Pharisees:

But the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of extortion and wickedness. You fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside also?" -- Luke 11:39-40

Our devoted time in prayer is the beautiful, clean exterior of the cup, but if it doesn't transform our interior life like our attitudes, our actions, our charity then we are focusing on the performance and not the Person. This is where the Christian life becomes exhausting and brittle.

❤️‍🔥 The Liturgy of Everyday Life

Prayer is essentially a conversation, a relationship. And healthy relationships aren't clock-watched; they are continuous.

This is the incredible command the Apostle Paul gave the Thessalonians, which really speaks to this continuous state of being:

"Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." --1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Pray constantly. That doesn't mean speaking with perfect, formal language 24/7. It means maintaining a state of connection.

It means bringing that conversation with God into every choice and every situation:

• When stuck in traffic: A quick, "Lord, help me be patient with this delay."

• When facing a difficult meeting: A quiet, "Holy Spirit, guide my words."

• When washing dishes or doing laundry: An intentional, "I offer this simple service to You, Lord, for the intentions of the poor."

☀️ The Source of Our Constant Connection: The Eucharist

If the goal is to be connected rather than just connecting, where does that power come from? For us Catholics, the answer is always the same: The Eucharist.

Mass is the place where our dedicated time of prayer meets the reality of God's grace. It is the "source and summit" of our Christian life because we receive Christ's Real Presence—He literally comes to dwell within us.

The profound truth is that when you leave Mass, you don't just leave a building; you leave with Christ residing in your soul. This physical, sacramental reality is what sustains the “pray constantly” mandate. You are physically connected to the Source of all grace, which enables those quick prayers in traffic or the intentional offering of simple service. We don’t have to muster up strength or connection on our own; we simply need to draw on the strength we received in Communion. The Eucharist transforms your hour of prayer into the fuel for your 24-hour connection.

This is the transformation: our spirituality moves from an activity we schedule to a presence we acknowledge. The time you spend in the dedicated prayer hour is what fuels the connection, but the connection itself happens in the small, often messy, moments of the day.

The question isn't whether you "checked in" this morning; the question is whether you are allowing the grace you received in prayer to permeate your actions right now. Let’s aim for a faith that saturates the whole 24 hours, not just the hour we set aside.

🌟 The Broken Candle — Finding Light When Everything Goes Dark

 Sometimes Christmas doesn’t come with bright lights or perfect plans.

Sometimes, it begins quietly in the dark with just one small light that refuses to go out.

This Christmas story isn’t about grand miracles or shining decorations, but about one small candle that reminded a whole church what the birth of Christ truly means: God’s light entering our ordinary darkness.

The Story

“Father, the power’s gone!” someone whispered.

It was Christmas Eve, just minutes before Midnight Mass. The whole church was suddenly wrapped in silence and darkness. The choir couldn’t see their sheets. The little children began to fidget. A few people sighed and others wondered aloud if they should just go home.

But then, in one of the front pews, an elderly woman reached into her purse and pulled out a single candle. She lit it. The tiny flame trembled, but it was enough to touch the faces of those around her.

One by one, others began to light their candles from hers.
First a handful. Then dozens. Then hundreds.

In a few minutes, the church glowed; not with electric light, but with the living warmth of flame shared from hand to hand.

When the priest finally walked up to the altar, he smiled. “We don’t need to wait for the lights,” he said. “Tonight reminds us that Christ Himself came as a small light into a dark world and that light still shines among us.”

After Mass, someone asked him if he was disappointed that the power never returned.
He just shook his head.

“If the lights had worked,” he said softly, “we might have missed the real message that the Light of the world shines most beautifully in our darkest nights.”

Reflection

That night, the church did not just celebrate Christmas - they lived Christmas.
Because the heart of Christmas isn’t found in glitter or grandness, but in the quiet courage to believe that God is still with us, even when everything goes dark.

Maybe your Christmas this year isn’t bright or easy. Maybe there’s an ache or a shadow that won’t lift. But even there, the Light of Christ finds you. It’s the same light that shone over Bethlehem, the same light that rose from the tomb.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” -- John 1:5

So hold your small candle of faith.
Because when one heart dares to hope, others begin to see again.

🕯️ Christmas Prayer

Lord Jesus, Light of the World,
You were born in a night of silence and straw,
yet Your light has never stopped shining.
When my days feel dark or uncertain,
help me remember the warmth of that first Christmas night.
Let Your light in me bring hope to others
and remind the world that You are still Emmanuel - God with us.
Amen.